Ever since I was young, my family has been tellin me that I had a calling on my life....yeah, me!..I was told at an early age that I would one day be a preacher...and actually believed it...and still do...hell, I used to be the guest speaker on certain occasions, and actually had the congregation stirred!!! so, it's 'a comin...........just ain't there yet.......I'm real enough to know that.......for those that know me, know me......those that don't, really don't! make sense?.....does to me.....when I was "just gettin started," I said I would give you all a glimpse of me, and why I am, the way that I am....well, today, for some unknown reason, well, it's not unknown, cause I'm doin what I do......and when I do that, my mind wanders..........and today, I'm on a religious tip....yeah, religion....I think about religion alot, I've studied it for years.....and still studying....I "study, to show [myself] approved".......and how it applies to my life....and try to figure out why I go through the shit that I go through, and try to make meaning of it all.....the mathematician in me, says there is a logical and analytical equation to everything that goes on within the universe.....'cept maybe predicting a tsunami, as all other things - man made - are finite, they have a "beginning, and an ending"...
...in certain circles, when describing the creator, it has been said that GOD is the Grand Architect of the Universe, or Great Geometrician......picture a blank sheet of paper, with your compass point in the center...from there, you can make an infinite number of concentric circles, directly related to the center...."the earth was void...and without form"........
The "preacher" in me knows that GOD holds "all secrets, and what is given to man..." is for him....meaning, if it's out there, go get it.........ala, knowledge!!!! He said, "my people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge...because they have rejected knowledge"......"you wanna hide sum'in from a black man, put it in a book".......not this black man!.......I read everything!!! and having that "quest," as I like to say, has been, to say the least, a blessing and a curse......it exposes you to too much...it causes theological, philisophical, and yes, psychological conflicts........you're always analyzing shit....why this, why that.....for every action, there is an opposite, but equal reaction....why aren't dinosaurs mentioned in the bible? Who was Cain's wife? that kinda shit.......I know GOD "knew us before we were in our mother's womb"...and he knows I'm a man "after [His] own heart"...and..."there is nothing new under the sun"....and ..."I am the master of my fate, and the captain of my soul,"...and.....our names are already "written in the book of life".....and....."many are called, but the chosen are few"......and......some ain't gon make it.....
it took man millions of years to invent the wheel, another millions of years to invent the automobile, then only a few, relatively speaking, to build the rocket.... ......to do what, for what? Another tower of Babel?..... Do we want to see GOD? Why? ask him what? What is our purpose, what is my purpose.............
preach what????
Is man inherently evil? Because of what happened in the Garden of Eden, we are born to die......while here, we're to live a righteous life, so that through Christ, we can enter into the Kingdom of Heaven...."amongst the 24 elders"...which level? The word speaks of 7 levels......if we don't make it the first time, do we get another chance? ......are we reincarnated to live a life of "hell on earth," til we get it right.......in the midst of Satan and his demons' "dominion...which [he] shall reign for a period of time".......do I discount the theory of evolution? The survival of the fittest? Maslow's hiercharchy of needs? Man's inherent reflex to "fight or flight".....to "turn the other cheek"....or...."eye for an eye," in which, even if you don't get caught, you damn sure gon' "reap what you sow"...........can I always "love [my] neighbor as I love myself"....how can I "judge not, lest thou be not judged".....the word said, "I have said that ye are gods, to sit in judgement".....can I "love my fellow man"....when, "if your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out"........I tolerate a crooked and corrupt government with a clear conscience, because I have to "give unto Caesar, what is Caesar's".....but I'm also supposed to "come out of her, the great harlot"......and go where......to whom..."for none are righteous, and fall short of the glory of GOD"........Jesus?........"the son of the living GOD".......He does say, "no man cometh unto the Father, but by me"........but.........wasn't he "after the order of Melchezidek"? Who was he....he had "neither beginning, nor ending of days...even, our Father Abraham paid a tenth"...... are the Muslims right? Buddhists? Atheists? Does the Trinity Doctrine resemble the ancient Egyptian epic of Osiris, Isis, and Horus.......Does the Flood Story copy the Epic of Gilgamesh? Is the ancient Egyptian god Thoth and Enoch the same person? Did Nostradamus predict any of this? Is the "Lost Books of the Bible" really not to be taken seriously? Paul quotes from it......as does the book of Jude........is that a female on the right of Jesus in the "Last Supper".......was it she, "the one that Jesus loved"..........Could he and Mary Magdalene have had offspring......he is "the way".....and he did say, "follow me"......would GOD have his "only begotten son" single, and a virgin? When his first commandment was "to be frutiful and multiply".......what, not his own son? Yes, I know he "rose on the 3rd day with all power in his hands".........still wanna know what happened to his bones, though....as "flesh and blood can not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven"......or, are they lost like Moses'?..... or......am I just lost?
I love the Lord "with all my heart, all my mind, and all my soul,"...and I will continue to "contend for the faith".........but I damn sure ain't ready to preach!
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Monday, August 08, 2005
Crumbs to Bricks...Part II (Sarasota, Fl)
yeah, I know, bout muthafuckin time.......been busy mayne, been busy.......kids, football, all that shit......but I said I would continue the saga, and here it is.........part II.......part II is unlike parts III and IV (yeah, this a four part series.......I was doing big thangs shawty!) as it occurred immediately following part I, plus, I wanted to hurry up and get to the "meat;" Part III occurred ten years later, in 1995, while part IV, the FINALE, occurred in January 1997, and continued til the day I left Florida, for Atlanta, on September 16th, 1999!!!!!!!
We left off part I in Panama City Fl, in the spring of 1985, with me being the Candy Man of Panama City; By the time the school year had ended, I had built up a nice lil nest egg. Don't recall how much, but I was skrait!!!! Had to be, cause I knew the summer was coming, and my clientele would cease.....niggas round the way wuddn't buying no blow pops, specially when they could go to the store and get 'em cheaper....so I had to have forward thinking and plan ahead...which was to save!!!!!!! Even as a shorty, I had a hustler's mentality.......save for the rainy days!!!!! anybody that has ever been involved with hustling, in any form or fashion, knows, rainy days do come......I found out then, and I found out later..........so anyways, I stacked my lil blow pop money......all was cool, it kept me from having to ask granny, or call home to Mom's for loot cause although she had went back to Sarasota, she was still chillin from the surgery......my blow pop money, plus some other lil hustles, like marbles, lasted me til the end of the summer....I knew I'd be going back to Sarasota for the next school term, fall of 1985; Mom's was ok, going back to work, and Granny wuddn't feeling no teenagers..so it was cool.....however, I had a decision to make.......going back to Sarasota meant I would be in 9th grade, high school down there, whereas in PC, they were still under the Jr. High School system, which meant I would have been a Sr at the Jr High level....really, though, that wasn't a choice, I was going back to Sarasota...the decision was rather to play another year of peewee football (in Fl, you can play peewee football til you're 13, and I didn't turn 14 til after the deadline) or play freshman football at the high school level???????? Shiiiiiiiiiid, that was a no-brainer.....I weighed roughly 95lbs soaking wet, I could still weigh in, in full gear, I didn't have to compete for a starting spot, and, I was the shit!!!!! Peewee football here I come!!!!!!!!
A lot of my boys ragged on me for still playing peewee football while in high school, but shiiiiid, I didn't care, I was being realistic about the situation..I wuddnt but a buck o'five, our freshman team fielded 90 players (our school had a student body of 2,700) of all shapes and sizes from all over.....and frankly speaking (Stephen A Smith impersonation), I wanted to play!!!!! the odds were slim to none that I'd get much clock with those odds, regardless of how good I was......y'all know how the state of Florida is when it comes to football.....FSU, Miami, U of F, shiiiiid, them niggas come from somewhere....and my school, RIVERVIEW HIGH SCHOOL, (we're talkin bout a school with a fuckin planetarium, and a damn nuclear radiation lab (yeah, I took that shit...looks good on a transcript!).......can you say 90210!) was a damn breeding ground for talent.....so ya boi wudda just been lost in the shuffle, and my lil ego wuddn't ready for that just yet, not coming off of a euphoric summer of being the man!!!!! Nah, I had to go out in a blaze my last year.......But I needed loot to maintain my rep...........
We weren't broke....but we wuddn't ballin either.....traditional middle class black family, mom, dad, 2 kids......so the folks were able to give me an allowance...not much, basically the change left over from my weekly lunch money.....but that wuddn't enough, and blow pops wasn't gon cut it in high school......so how was I to get loot..or extra loot, as I felt the need for........I ain't gon lie y'all, I didn't have a clue........
When I got back to Sarasota from PC at the end of the summer of '85, it was like I had stepped into the twilight zone or sum'in....everything had changed, my neighborhood didn't even look the same, nor, did it sound the same......Sarasota had gotten LOUD!!!! real loud.......the BASS revolution had begun...Jam Pony Express DJ's, The Original 2 Live Crew (when Luke was "Luke Skywalker") , DJ Majic Mike....was all you heard comin outta niggas' cars......the cars....lawd hammercy!!! Cutlass' and Regals'.....that's all niggas seemed to be drivin...with rag tops, trues and vogues, that was the shit!!!! Them 9 months in PC put me way behind the 8-ball...I had to get hip all over again, this was new to me, but I wanted in...somehow, someway!
So the school year began without a hitch.....same ol, same ol.......bout round October, one of my boys started missing a lot of school...not like him....although he lived with his grandmother and 3 other siblings, it was a tight knit group, they had an uncle that would beat the shit outta of them better'n any father could, so they weren't lacking for a father figure.....But D (won't reveal any names, cause some of these niggas still in the game.......yeah, 20 years later!!!! (definitely 10 years later in '95, as you'll see in part III)), just stopped coming to school all of a sudden...he'd come maybe once a week, twice if he felt like it....teachers would ask me about him because we were so tight.......shiiiiid, I didn't know my damn self......one saturday afternoon at the peewee field, everybody came out, that was the spot on Saturdays...regardless if they ragged or not, niggas came out!!!! I saw D....I was like, "nigga where you been?" D was just grinnin......I'm like what the fuck is so funny, yo ass done damn near quit school in the 9th grade!!! (which was unheard of back in tha days) D was like, "man I'm gettin paid".......Huh?????? paid????? How??.........D said...........dope!!!!!! Huh????? Mind you, I'm fresh off the "wack" boat...(wack was the term for "lame' back then) so I had no clue what dope was.......hell, I'm only 14.......D said dope was cocaine...crack cocaine.....and he was sellin it.....14 years old as well....sellin dope! He had the pockets to prove it........I was like damn.....eyes wide open.......but I knew damn well, I couldn't sell no dope, not with my pop!!! Shiiiiiid, there were parts of town I couldn't even go to, let alone call myself sellin dope....I knew that was out....D did too....so he stopped me short of even askin how could I be down......."Boy yo Daddy 'll beat yo ass"......and he would too!! But I needed a pocket like D's.......swole!!!!
I couldn't get that knot outta my head.....had to have been a coupla hundred, if not a "g" that nigga had that Saturday afternoon. As luck would have it....D came to school that following Monday....the cool part about it was, we had 3 classes together so I saw the nigga damn near all day....and you know what I had on my mind.....that knot......how you get on? where you get it from? what yo gram'ma say? all kinds of questions.....by 6th period (remember it like it was yesterday!) D was like, "what's up then nigga? you trynna get in the dope game or sum'in?" I was speechless...cause I wasn't expecting that...I was just curious about the "game" itself......but ego took over, and I was like "yeah, put me on." "But you know I can't be out late and shit, how I'm gon sell dope with a curfew?" "And what if somebody sees me, you know they gon tell my Daddy!" D was like don't worry bout that.....you still get an allowance? (that too had been the butt of jokes....gettin an allowance.....niggas wuddn't gettin allowances, that was white folks shit)...I said yeah! He said how much money you got? I had $20, he said lemme hold it........I didn't know what the fuck that was all about....I was square to the game.......he said, "I'mma 'flip' it for you, you ain't gotta do nuttin but bring $20 to school every Monday, I'll flip it, and give you your money on Fridays." I was leery, cause hell, I was lucky to even see him that day, let alone DEPEND on this nigga.......but D was my boy, so I said what the hell, and gave him the $20........Friday came, no D....I was mad as hell...damn near in tears.......thinking my boy done got me!!!! I just knew I'd see him Saturday at the field, where I usually saw him as of late......No D......dammitt man!!!! the next day, Sunday, I forget where I was, but here comes D...ridin up on a bike....smilin.....I'm not, I'm mad as shit, ready to swing on my homeboy over a dub......"yo mama told me where you were, I just left yo house.......yeah....(my mama loved his funny lookin self) ....yeah, she said you'd be up here........but check this out dawg....I'm waitin on a sob story....here you go....and handed me a $50 dollar bill.....my eyes lit up!!!! You made this offa that $20 I gave you? Nigga, that ain't shit, I knew yo ass was gon be trippin when you ain't see me at school Friday, but this all I got on me...you can take this $50 and take it as a come-up, or you can reinvest....you see I'm good for it.....and he was......this was my dawg I was talkin bout....so I said, let me keep the $50, but here's $20 more, keep flippin this..........It was on y'all.......I took that $50 and put it in my wallet and carried it around like teens carried old, faded rubbers in their wallet......that $50 was my status symbol.....but I had a problem....couldn't spend it.....folks knew how much money they were giving me, so I couldn't just go out and splurge like I wanted to, so I had to hide my money; same principle applies to the game today; Money Laundering would be the appropriate term (as I would come to learn in part IV)..........besides the football field on Saturdays, and the local arcade on Sundays, I had nowhere to floss my cheese!!!!! Then it hit me.......I told y'all what kind of school I attended...nuttin but rich white folks, and I was cool with them, in fact had some real close friends that I had played peewee ball with throughout the years, and we remained close througout high school as well...However, they had outgrown me by leaps and bounds, and they would give me a lot of their shit that had gotten too small for them...it didn't make me no never mind cause it was always nice, name brand shit that was always practically brand new......white folks was always givin me shit.....I ain't turn it down either! Bugle Boy, Jordache, Calvin Klein, you name it.........so what I started doing was, after, or sometimes during school, I'd go to the mall down the street and go shopping; I'd put my clothes in my locker at school, wear em' and have my white friends wash 'em at their house, and by the time the "newness" wore off I'd take 'em home as just sum'in else "one of my white friends gave me."
"Pretty Tony" was born. My very first purchase were a pair of burgundy penny loafers! yep, I was rockin the penny loafers.....with no socks at that! Oh, I loved to dress preppy! Penny loafers, no socks, bugle boy jeans that rolled up at the bottom, and a button down shirt! That was me! On Saturdays I would come to the field in my penny loafers and shorts...couldn't tell me shit!!!! As opposed to collecting from D every week, I'd just give him $10 every sunday at the arcade, and collected every other week, which usually amounted to about $2-300......I had to save alot because wuddn't that much clothes givin in the world, and I didn't want the folks to get suspicious...so I stacked!!!! The folks didn't find out, but somehow word got out on the streets, and at school, that me and D were partners, and I was frontin him my "lunch money" to come-up.......ain't nobody trip though......in fact, I was gettin props....Sr's were noticing me and even speaking to me....back then, freshmen didn't fuck with Sr's, let alone, Sr's fuck with freshmen.....I mean we were cool 'cause of my peewee days, and everybody knew my pops, but we weren't that cool.......then I found out why all the attention......Me and D kept our partnership going for most of the freshman year, til he just finally dropped out of school all together in the spring...but hell, I had made a lot of money, and the thrill had worn off, plus I was gettin tired of hidin shit from my parents (I was a good kid back then.....cocky, but still a good kid).....so when D left, I got out......the folks who knew of us, knew D had dipped....and they pretty much knew that he was my "partner in crime."............til one day in the hall way........"Shorty McKay, ya boy gone now, who gon put you down.....(smirkin).......won't you ask yo DADDY....he got all the work!"..........................What the Hell?????????
To be continued..................
We left off part I in Panama City Fl, in the spring of 1985, with me being the Candy Man of Panama City; By the time the school year had ended, I had built up a nice lil nest egg. Don't recall how much, but I was skrait!!!! Had to be, cause I knew the summer was coming, and my clientele would cease.....niggas round the way wuddn't buying no blow pops, specially when they could go to the store and get 'em cheaper....so I had to have forward thinking and plan ahead...which was to save!!!!!!! Even as a shorty, I had a hustler's mentality.......save for the rainy days!!!!! anybody that has ever been involved with hustling, in any form or fashion, knows, rainy days do come......I found out then, and I found out later..........so anyways, I stacked my lil blow pop money......all was cool, it kept me from having to ask granny, or call home to Mom's for loot cause although she had went back to Sarasota, she was still chillin from the surgery......my blow pop money, plus some other lil hustles, like marbles, lasted me til the end of the summer....I knew I'd be going back to Sarasota for the next school term, fall of 1985; Mom's was ok, going back to work, and Granny wuddn't feeling no teenagers..so it was cool.....however, I had a decision to make.......going back to Sarasota meant I would be in 9th grade, high school down there, whereas in PC, they were still under the Jr. High School system, which meant I would have been a Sr at the Jr High level....really, though, that wasn't a choice, I was going back to Sarasota...the decision was rather to play another year of peewee football (in Fl, you can play peewee football til you're 13, and I didn't turn 14 til after the deadline) or play freshman football at the high school level???????? Shiiiiiiiiiid, that was a no-brainer.....I weighed roughly 95lbs soaking wet, I could still weigh in, in full gear, I didn't have to compete for a starting spot, and, I was the shit!!!!! Peewee football here I come!!!!!!!!
A lot of my boys ragged on me for still playing peewee football while in high school, but shiiiiid, I didn't care, I was being realistic about the situation..I wuddnt but a buck o'five, our freshman team fielded 90 players (our school had a student body of 2,700) of all shapes and sizes from all over.....and frankly speaking (Stephen A Smith impersonation), I wanted to play!!!!! the odds were slim to none that I'd get much clock with those odds, regardless of how good I was......y'all know how the state of Florida is when it comes to football.....FSU, Miami, U of F, shiiiiid, them niggas come from somewhere....and my school, RIVERVIEW HIGH SCHOOL, (we're talkin bout a school with a fuckin planetarium, and a damn nuclear radiation lab (yeah, I took that shit...looks good on a transcript!).......can you say 90210!) was a damn breeding ground for talent.....so ya boi wudda just been lost in the shuffle, and my lil ego wuddn't ready for that just yet, not coming off of a euphoric summer of being the man!!!!! Nah, I had to go out in a blaze my last year.......But I needed loot to maintain my rep...........
We weren't broke....but we wuddn't ballin either.....traditional middle class black family, mom, dad, 2 kids......so the folks were able to give me an allowance...not much, basically the change left over from my weekly lunch money.....but that wuddn't enough, and blow pops wasn't gon cut it in high school......so how was I to get loot..or extra loot, as I felt the need for........I ain't gon lie y'all, I didn't have a clue........
When I got back to Sarasota from PC at the end of the summer of '85, it was like I had stepped into the twilight zone or sum'in....everything had changed, my neighborhood didn't even look the same, nor, did it sound the same......Sarasota had gotten LOUD!!!! real loud.......the BASS revolution had begun...Jam Pony Express DJ's, The Original 2 Live Crew (when Luke was "Luke Skywalker") , DJ Majic Mike....was all you heard comin outta niggas' cars......the cars....lawd hammercy!!! Cutlass' and Regals'.....that's all niggas seemed to be drivin...with rag tops, trues and vogues, that was the shit!!!! Them 9 months in PC put me way behind the 8-ball...I had to get hip all over again, this was new to me, but I wanted in...somehow, someway!
So the school year began without a hitch.....same ol, same ol.......bout round October, one of my boys started missing a lot of school...not like him....although he lived with his grandmother and 3 other siblings, it was a tight knit group, they had an uncle that would beat the shit outta of them better'n any father could, so they weren't lacking for a father figure.....But D (won't reveal any names, cause some of these niggas still in the game.......yeah, 20 years later!!!! (definitely 10 years later in '95, as you'll see in part III)), just stopped coming to school all of a sudden...he'd come maybe once a week, twice if he felt like it....teachers would ask me about him because we were so tight.......shiiiiid, I didn't know my damn self......one saturday afternoon at the peewee field, everybody came out, that was the spot on Saturdays...regardless if they ragged or not, niggas came out!!!! I saw D....I was like, "nigga where you been?" D was just grinnin......I'm like what the fuck is so funny, yo ass done damn near quit school in the 9th grade!!! (which was unheard of back in tha days) D was like, "man I'm gettin paid".......Huh?????? paid????? How??.........D said...........dope!!!!!! Huh????? Mind you, I'm fresh off the "wack" boat...(wack was the term for "lame' back then) so I had no clue what dope was.......hell, I'm only 14.......D said dope was cocaine...crack cocaine.....and he was sellin it.....14 years old as well....sellin dope! He had the pockets to prove it........I was like damn.....eyes wide open.......but I knew damn well, I couldn't sell no dope, not with my pop!!! Shiiiiiid, there were parts of town I couldn't even go to, let alone call myself sellin dope....I knew that was out....D did too....so he stopped me short of even askin how could I be down......."Boy yo Daddy 'll beat yo ass"......and he would too!! But I needed a pocket like D's.......swole!!!!
I couldn't get that knot outta my head.....had to have been a coupla hundred, if not a "g" that nigga had that Saturday afternoon. As luck would have it....D came to school that following Monday....the cool part about it was, we had 3 classes together so I saw the nigga damn near all day....and you know what I had on my mind.....that knot......how you get on? where you get it from? what yo gram'ma say? all kinds of questions.....by 6th period (remember it like it was yesterday!) D was like, "what's up then nigga? you trynna get in the dope game or sum'in?" I was speechless...cause I wasn't expecting that...I was just curious about the "game" itself......but ego took over, and I was like "yeah, put me on." "But you know I can't be out late and shit, how I'm gon sell dope with a curfew?" "And what if somebody sees me, you know they gon tell my Daddy!" D was like don't worry bout that.....you still get an allowance? (that too had been the butt of jokes....gettin an allowance.....niggas wuddn't gettin allowances, that was white folks shit)...I said yeah! He said how much money you got? I had $20, he said lemme hold it........I didn't know what the fuck that was all about....I was square to the game.......he said, "I'mma 'flip' it for you, you ain't gotta do nuttin but bring $20 to school every Monday, I'll flip it, and give you your money on Fridays." I was leery, cause hell, I was lucky to even see him that day, let alone DEPEND on this nigga.......but D was my boy, so I said what the hell, and gave him the $20........Friday came, no D....I was mad as hell...damn near in tears.......thinking my boy done got me!!!! I just knew I'd see him Saturday at the field, where I usually saw him as of late......No D......dammitt man!!!! the next day, Sunday, I forget where I was, but here comes D...ridin up on a bike....smilin.....I'm not, I'm mad as shit, ready to swing on my homeboy over a dub......"yo mama told me where you were, I just left yo house.......yeah....(my mama loved his funny lookin self) ....yeah, she said you'd be up here........but check this out dawg....I'm waitin on a sob story....here you go....and handed me a $50 dollar bill.....my eyes lit up!!!! You made this offa that $20 I gave you? Nigga, that ain't shit, I knew yo ass was gon be trippin when you ain't see me at school Friday, but this all I got on me...you can take this $50 and take it as a come-up, or you can reinvest....you see I'm good for it.....and he was......this was my dawg I was talkin bout....so I said, let me keep the $50, but here's $20 more, keep flippin this..........It was on y'all.......I took that $50 and put it in my wallet and carried it around like teens carried old, faded rubbers in their wallet......that $50 was my status symbol.....but I had a problem....couldn't spend it.....folks knew how much money they were giving me, so I couldn't just go out and splurge like I wanted to, so I had to hide my money; same principle applies to the game today; Money Laundering would be the appropriate term (as I would come to learn in part IV)..........besides the football field on Saturdays, and the local arcade on Sundays, I had nowhere to floss my cheese!!!!! Then it hit me.......I told y'all what kind of school I attended...nuttin but rich white folks, and I was cool with them, in fact had some real close friends that I had played peewee ball with throughout the years, and we remained close througout high school as well...However, they had outgrown me by leaps and bounds, and they would give me a lot of their shit that had gotten too small for them...it didn't make me no never mind cause it was always nice, name brand shit that was always practically brand new......white folks was always givin me shit.....I ain't turn it down either! Bugle Boy, Jordache, Calvin Klein, you name it.........so what I started doing was, after, or sometimes during school, I'd go to the mall down the street and go shopping; I'd put my clothes in my locker at school, wear em' and have my white friends wash 'em at their house, and by the time the "newness" wore off I'd take 'em home as just sum'in else "one of my white friends gave me."
"Pretty Tony" was born. My very first purchase were a pair of burgundy penny loafers! yep, I was rockin the penny loafers.....with no socks at that! Oh, I loved to dress preppy! Penny loafers, no socks, bugle boy jeans that rolled up at the bottom, and a button down shirt! That was me! On Saturdays I would come to the field in my penny loafers and shorts...couldn't tell me shit!!!! As opposed to collecting from D every week, I'd just give him $10 every sunday at the arcade, and collected every other week, which usually amounted to about $2-300......I had to save alot because wuddn't that much clothes givin in the world, and I didn't want the folks to get suspicious...so I stacked!!!! The folks didn't find out, but somehow word got out on the streets, and at school, that me and D were partners, and I was frontin him my "lunch money" to come-up.......ain't nobody trip though......in fact, I was gettin props....Sr's were noticing me and even speaking to me....back then, freshmen didn't fuck with Sr's, let alone, Sr's fuck with freshmen.....I mean we were cool 'cause of my peewee days, and everybody knew my pops, but we weren't that cool.......then I found out why all the attention......Me and D kept our partnership going for most of the freshman year, til he just finally dropped out of school all together in the spring...but hell, I had made a lot of money, and the thrill had worn off, plus I was gettin tired of hidin shit from my parents (I was a good kid back then.....cocky, but still a good kid).....so when D left, I got out......the folks who knew of us, knew D had dipped....and they pretty much knew that he was my "partner in crime."............til one day in the hall way........"Shorty McKay, ya boy gone now, who gon put you down.....(smirkin).......won't you ask yo DADDY....he got all the work!"..........................What the Hell?????????
To be continued..................
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
"Fa' Sho, or, For Show"
I’ve always said there are two types of cats out there; Niggas that are “For Show” with it, and niggas that are, “Fa’ Sho” with it…..I like to consider myself one of them “Fa sho” kinda dudes, cause frankly, I ain’t with the bullshit, nor, am I about trynna keep up with the next nigga!.....However, and I’m sure y’all have seen ‘em, there are a bunch of niggas out there that are strictly “For show” with it….Y’all have seen ‘em…those are the cats with the nice rides, all rimmed and tricked out, yet, never have more than a quarter of a tank of gas, or the cats (single, at that) with the huge cribs and ain’t got no damn furniture in ‘em, or sum’in cut off, ‘specially gas……easy test, go visit a nigga that has a huge crib, in the winter…if his heat ain’t on, he “for show” with it……or, after he’s been there for a minute, and still ain’t got no furniture, he’s “for show” with it….or, if he’s got a gang of roommates….he’s a “for show” kinda nigga……Granted, this is not all inclusive of the niggas who fit this mold, but nine times outta ten, the shoe fits….….Then, you got them niggas like me…….I do aiiight for myself…..but I ain’t trynna be sum’in that I’m not…my apartment is 1600 sq ft. (Plenty of room for me and my babies), I can crank up my car and go wherever I please, with a full tank….and I keep some “spare change” for those spur of the moment “splurges,” and, my babies are “skrait!” While them “for show” niggas be crying bout child support, and all that shit; be spending their mortgage (or, rent) at the club trynna impress some chickenhead, while the niggas like me don’t give a fuck about them chickenheads…..ain’t trynna impress nobody, and basically livin MY life, and not someone else’s…….that’s how you distinguish ‘em…..the leaders from the followers…the leaders move to the beat of their own drum, while the followers, well, they move to the beat of someone else’s drum….they see some celebrity on TV sportin sum’in, so they gotta have it (maybe why WE feed into the Name Brand shit(hmmm))….while a leader will see it, and not give it a second thought….unless, he likes it…Don’t get me wrong, I like nice shit as much as the next cat, but I ain’t bout to go broke trynna get that shit, either…..I ain’t gon try to push a Benz, when my budget dictates a Toyota….nor, am I gon take from my babies’ mouth in order to “floss!”……..I’m not hatin’ by no means; cause if you got it, then run it….but if you ain’t…therein lies the problem….…them “for show” niggas…..who, nine times outta ten bout lame as fuck anyways….them the cats who damn near lose their mind when they lose their job, or their so-called livelihood, cause they ain’t got shit else to fall back on; no survival skillz, no business bout ‘em, no folks in their corner, just trifling!....Usually, those “for show” cats are trifling…..y’all know ‘em…..gotta be seen, and heard…and they usually talk too damn much! Them “fa’ sho” niggas sit back and observe what they see……They peep game….you can’t recognize it, if you don’t see it comin…they ain’t necessarily gotta be seen, nor heard, hell, they prefer the sidelines……ain’t really concerned with being out front….cause he knows what he’s capable of, and he’s confident in his abilities……. someone once said, “there’s no limit to the things a man can accomplish, as long as he doesn’t mind who receives the credit.” Truer words have never been spoken….and that’s how “fa’ sho” niggas roll……Look at the real Mafia Dons…not the ones you read about in the papers, those are “for show,” but the real ones who stay outta the limelight, like a Carlo Gambino, and or, a Tony Accardo, “fa’ sho” Dons who stayed outta the limelight and out of prison like so many of the “for show” dons today…..
The real vs. The fake…that’s what it alls boils down to….and, in essence, being “true to thine own self.” Being true to who you are, and what you are; comfortable in the skin that GOD gave you…”Fa’ Sho, or, For Show!”
The real vs. The fake…that’s what it alls boils down to….and, in essence, being “true to thine own self.” Being true to who you are, and what you are; comfortable in the skin that GOD gave you…”Fa’ Sho, or, For Show!”
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Dirty Draws kinda love
Sup.....let's see, what's on my mind today, or should I say, at this very moment.........hmmmmm.........marriage.....yeah, marriage, why, cause I'm watching "Being Bobby Brown," and I'm thinking, you know what, fuck what e'rybody else says, I love that shit! I love Bobby and Whitney.....yeah, I love 'em cause despite what WE think, them niggas love each other......They love each others' "dirty draws!" and if y'all know black love, y'all know, that's some strong love.....that's what I'm talking bout, that dirty draws kinda love.....some may call it "Ghetto love", or whatever, but that's what's it all about....or should be, anyway......folks, like to say, Whitney and Bobby are dysfunctional, and all that....SO!......they're dysfunctional together....and that's what it's all about...e'rytime Bobby ass go to jail, who there to pick him up in a stretch?....Whitney.......even when that fool got past due child support hangin over him, Whitney got that fool back....and that's how it should be....that mu'fuckin dirty draws kinda love! Dope addicts....so, they in it together....ain't my problem....theirs......and if it works for them...what, 15 years? hey, it's cool with me shiiiid, I love it, to tell you the truth........that's what I want, that kinda shit......baby, love me, for me....when I come home, lemme be me....I'mma let you be you.....we in this shit together, we're a team....you already got a blunt rolled, cool!....got us some 'yac and coke on ice.....good!......yo habits, my habits, and vice versa.....that's what I'm talkin' bout......you my other half, we complete each other.....fuck what others think, this us!!! me and you.....I ain't trynna change you, and hopefully you ain't trynna change me....you know what you got from the get-go...so let's roll.....that's why I love Bobby and Whitney....they in that shit together....fuck what the media, me, or you think.....them niggas love each others' "dirty draws."
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
I'on wanna hear dat shit
"Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you".......we've all heard it before, it's the "golden rule." Conversely (math again), just because you got beef wit a mu'fucka don't mean I got beef wit 'em. nah mean? that shit kills me when cats be like, you deal with dude...or, you still cool with so and so....I'm like........yeah!....Buddy ain't never done nuttin to me. That's y'all shit! When buddy crosses me, then, we'll deal with it accordingly; but until then......nah joe, I'on wanna hear that shit....Don't be trynna tell me how dude done beat you outta of a dub, or any other amount of money....shiiiiid, nigga done came through for me on many occasions;.......I don't care what the nigga said behind yo back; He ain't said nothin to me bout it!..........Who gives a fuck how lame that nigga is; we don't hang like that, so that's irrelevant to me.........I don't care if that nigga is cheatin on his broad; he ain't trynna get at mine!.......Who cares how much that nigga makes....my name ain't on that mu'fucka........I don't care what kinda ride he pushin; ain't my note!.......Yeah, he got a nice crib; but, I'm straight!.........yeah, his guhl tight; so is mine!........Regardless nigga, that's y'all shit! I ain't got (I know...... double negative), nor do I want anything to do with that shit...I'on want nobody else's drama in my life, so don't bring it to me......I can take pride in saying that I have NO ENEMIES......and if I did, as Steve Harvey said, "if you'on like me, nine times outta ten, I'on like yo black ass either," so the feeling's mutual, they cancel each other out;........and, I'm not trynna make any either...I make a conscious effort to do right by folks, and in return, they do the same.......that's why I ain't got beef with that nigga like you....we cool far as I'm concerned....hell, I hope me and you cool too.....shiiiid, you ain't done nuttin to me, and hopefully I haven't done anything to you!.......and that's how I roll........ain't got drama, don't want drama, so if you try to bring me some, save it, cause I'on wanna hear dat shit.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
you must be out yo rabbit ass mind!!!!!!
yeah, I know, I'm neglecting my blog...yada, yada, yada......so what...I write when the urge hits, but ya gotta admit, this shit is interesting........
At any rate, as you may know, I'm in my zone again, so I gotta vent about the latest haps in my life...and don't worry, I'm gonna finish the "crumbs to bricks" series (cause it is indeed a series)....be patient, grasshoppa!
But the latest involves, yours truly, the ex.....y'all, this female sum'in else.....yeah, I married the chic, so I'm qualified to speak about her........she's a trip y'all!!!!
First, lemme give you a lil background on this thang here........me and this chic dated on and off for damn near 10 years before we said fuck it, let's get married...I know, what the fuck was I thinkin..but hey, I was raised in a 2 parent home, so I thought that would be the noble thing to do...good man, right? yeah, I know....plus, we had a child together......
so we get hitched on November 27th, 1999...reminds me of what FDR said about 12/7/41, the "Day that will live in infamy"...hindsight is a mu'fucka..........I just be damned...2 days after the damn honeymoon, what do I find, none other than a letter this broad wrote to her ex (silly broad always left rough drafts and shit lying around)....baby-girl's father....Folks that know me, know I always say I have 2 kids.....well, contraire mu fraire, or however Bart Simpson says that shit....technically, I only have one....Jr., my namesake, and my spittin image....one crumbsnatcher! But....I married this chic, 'nother nigga's child and all....yeah, one of her many indiscretions during those tumultuous 10 years...I wuddn't no angel my damn self, so I'm not trynna say she was ALL bad (we wuddn't married, either)....but she was hell! So anyways, I married this chic......granted, when baby-girl was still in the womb, she and I went back and forth on the "who's baby is it" trip many times.......She basically said, FUCK YOU, it ain't yours;
y'all, this was "ghetto love" at it's finest...had all the trappings, windshield smashings, tire slashings, confronting other females, (and males!!!!!!)......callin' the "white folks," showin out in public, Bonnie and Clyde typa shit.......all dat shit.......but, oh well. Married the broad anyway. Treated baby-girl as if she were mine, hell she'd been calling me Daddy since she was able to talk, so no biggie....plus, her Bio was somewhere in Florida adding to his basketball squad that he was so diligently working on.........
Anyway, the marriage was over before it got started....we lived together as hubby and wife for all of 9 months, and during those nine months she would dip and run over to Mama, who lived damn near a mile away; I'd come home from work, hers, and the kids' shit would be gone....many times....... so that's how that shit went....Fast Forward to now.......Me and her are divorced; yeah, I divorced her ass.....heffa couldn't find her own bed, so I had to dismiss her ass....If you know me, you know thats one thing I don't fuck around with, and that's marriage....as bad as some may want to call me, I don't disrespect the sanctity of marriage.....too many broads out here for that, don't need the headache or the curses that come with it....and throughout all of the bullshit, I hung in there...I don't believe in irreconciliable differences, that's bullshit to me, there ain't but one reason to me to get a divorce, and that's ADULTERY! I knew the heffa was cheatin, I just needed proof..couldn't go in court with no letters, or phone numbers, that's speculation....hearsay..... all that legalese bullshit...I needed rock solid proof......and I got it....and custody of Jr, to boot!.......however, I didn't go snatch him up and take him like I could have...didn't want to separate 'em...I know how those 2 are together...inseparable.....so what I do....I continue to be Daddy to her....a lot of cats have said....."man, you better than me....." and all that jazz, for continuing to do what I do for baby-girl, even though me and her mom's are history.....
Well, now that the kids are gettin older, and college is being mentioned, Ms Ex tells me, or asks me, rather....."what are you gonna do about "Amani".....I'm like, what do you mean what am I gonna do about "mama" (my pet name for her).......Are you gonna take a paternity test, give her your last name, etc.......
WHAT THE FUCK????????
Am I gonna do what? Have you bumped yo mu'fuckin head? when you had the opportunity to do this 8 yers ago you gave me your ass to kiss, and I still married your ass. Even when we were married, this coulda been done, but nah, you ain't wanna be married, you wanted to go through the motions and shit; But now that you see Jr. is the "heir to the throne," so to speak, you trynna make sure YOU get a piece of the pie....nah joe! Not in this camp...."this ain't about me, it's about her"......Ain't that what I said 8 years ago...and what did you do, better yet, what did you tell me? And if I'm not mistaken, didn't she see "COACH CARTER" this past Spring Break when they went to Florida? You trynna play both sides of the fence...."I ain't have nothing to do with that encounter.." Oh yeah, so how did he just so happen to know they would be in Florida? "Mama" sure as hell didn't call him.......what the fuck ever......you just trynna get paid...I know how you operate, and I know you have evil motives........but, as long as she calls me Daddy, "I'll be dat..." But I ain't signing shit! Hell, his name on the birth certificate, start with him.......if you ain't so sure, tell him to take a paternity test....but if you think I'm bout to do it, cause I'm here, and it would be so very easy, so you can try to gouge me for child support, when I'm already going above and beyond the call of duty........................You must be out yo rabbit ass mind!
At any rate, as you may know, I'm in my zone again, so I gotta vent about the latest haps in my life...and don't worry, I'm gonna finish the "crumbs to bricks" series (cause it is indeed a series)....be patient, grasshoppa!
But the latest involves, yours truly, the ex.....y'all, this female sum'in else.....yeah, I married the chic, so I'm qualified to speak about her........she's a trip y'all!!!!
First, lemme give you a lil background on this thang here........me and this chic dated on and off for damn near 10 years before we said fuck it, let's get married...I know, what the fuck was I thinkin..but hey, I was raised in a 2 parent home, so I thought that would be the noble thing to do...good man, right? yeah, I know....plus, we had a child together......
so we get hitched on November 27th, 1999...reminds me of what FDR said about 12/7/41, the "Day that will live in infamy"...hindsight is a mu'fucka..........I just be damned...2 days after the damn honeymoon, what do I find, none other than a letter this broad wrote to her ex (silly broad always left rough drafts and shit lying around)....baby-girl's father....Folks that know me, know I always say I have 2 kids.....well, contraire mu fraire, or however Bart Simpson says that shit....technically, I only have one....Jr., my namesake, and my spittin image....one crumbsnatcher! But....I married this chic, 'nother nigga's child and all....yeah, one of her many indiscretions during those tumultuous 10 years...I wuddn't no angel my damn self, so I'm not trynna say she was ALL bad (we wuddn't married, either)....but she was hell! So anyways, I married this chic......granted, when baby-girl was still in the womb, she and I went back and forth on the "who's baby is it" trip many times.......She basically said, FUCK YOU, it ain't yours;
y'all, this was "ghetto love" at it's finest...had all the trappings, windshield smashings, tire slashings, confronting other females, (and males!!!!!!)......callin' the "white folks," showin out in public, Bonnie and Clyde typa shit.......all dat shit.......but, oh well. Married the broad anyway. Treated baby-girl as if she were mine, hell she'd been calling me Daddy since she was able to talk, so no biggie....plus, her Bio was somewhere in Florida adding to his basketball squad that he was so diligently working on.........
Anyway, the marriage was over before it got started....we lived together as hubby and wife for all of 9 months, and during those nine months she would dip and run over to Mama, who lived damn near a mile away; I'd come home from work, hers, and the kids' shit would be gone....many times....... so that's how that shit went....Fast Forward to now.......Me and her are divorced; yeah, I divorced her ass.....heffa couldn't find her own bed, so I had to dismiss her ass....If you know me, you know thats one thing I don't fuck around with, and that's marriage....as bad as some may want to call me, I don't disrespect the sanctity of marriage.....too many broads out here for that, don't need the headache or the curses that come with it....and throughout all of the bullshit, I hung in there...I don't believe in irreconciliable differences, that's bullshit to me, there ain't but one reason to me to get a divorce, and that's ADULTERY! I knew the heffa was cheatin, I just needed proof..couldn't go in court with no letters, or phone numbers, that's speculation....hearsay..... all that legalese bullshit...I needed rock solid proof......and I got it....and custody of Jr, to boot!.......however, I didn't go snatch him up and take him like I could have...didn't want to separate 'em...I know how those 2 are together...inseparable.....so what I do....I continue to be Daddy to her....a lot of cats have said....."man, you better than me....." and all that jazz, for continuing to do what I do for baby-girl, even though me and her mom's are history.....
Well, now that the kids are gettin older, and college is being mentioned, Ms Ex tells me, or asks me, rather....."what are you gonna do about "Amani".....I'm like, what do you mean what am I gonna do about "mama" (my pet name for her).......Are you gonna take a paternity test, give her your last name, etc.......
WHAT THE FUCK????????
Am I gonna do what? Have you bumped yo mu'fuckin head? when you had the opportunity to do this 8 yers ago you gave me your ass to kiss, and I still married your ass. Even when we were married, this coulda been done, but nah, you ain't wanna be married, you wanted to go through the motions and shit; But now that you see Jr. is the "heir to the throne," so to speak, you trynna make sure YOU get a piece of the pie....nah joe! Not in this camp...."this ain't about me, it's about her"......Ain't that what I said 8 years ago...and what did you do, better yet, what did you tell me? And if I'm not mistaken, didn't she see "COACH CARTER" this past Spring Break when they went to Florida? You trynna play both sides of the fence...."I ain't have nothing to do with that encounter.." Oh yeah, so how did he just so happen to know they would be in Florida? "Mama" sure as hell didn't call him.......what the fuck ever......you just trynna get paid...I know how you operate, and I know you have evil motives........but, as long as she calls me Daddy, "I'll be dat..." But I ain't signing shit! Hell, his name on the birth certificate, start with him.......if you ain't so sure, tell him to take a paternity test....but if you think I'm bout to do it, cause I'm here, and it would be so very easy, so you can try to gouge me for child support, when I'm already going above and beyond the call of duty........................You must be out yo rabbit ass mind!
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Crumbs to Bricks...Part I (Panama City, Fl)
A lotta folks have always asked me to tell my life story, as some have said it would probably be quite interesting...and, as I said when I was just getting started , I would tell y'all about me.....well today, Sunday, June 27, 2005, hustling came to mind...why, I have no clue...but I just started reminiscing about the game, and how I am, what I am today, and how hustling played a role in it.......let's go back.....waaaaaaaaay back, to 1985, to be exact...that's when I got my first taste of hustling, and what being a "ghetto superstar" was all about....13 years old, mind you! I had had a glimpse of superstardom at an early age......I was a peewee football star...and if you ever played peewee football, you know what I'm talkin bout....In Florida, peewee football was BIG! Real big.....names, highlights, articles, pictures, and box scores in the daily paper.....and sometimes, front page......peewee football was big, ya hear me...and that's usually where you earned your REP!!!! If you shined on the field, and your name stayed in the paper, as mine did, then you got star treatment in the hood.....when kids ask for your autograph, then you're ghetto fabulous!!! I loved that shit!!!!!
Back to 1985.........was going to Mowat Jr High School (only old heads know bout Jr. High School...Middle School is that new shit!)......staying with Granny and 'nem.......wuddn't a lot of loot in the house, so wuddn't too many EXTRA's...nah mean.....Mom's was recovering from a major surgery, hence the reason for being in Panama City in the first place.....so shit was tight.......And coming from Sarasota, to Panama City was like going back in time....PC was always home, cause that's where Granny lived, and that's where summers were spent....but living there.....nah!!! Talk about slow....them niggas was slow.....I couldn't, and still can't, dance for shit....but to them cats....I was tight!....I was up on shit that they hadn't seen yet, and had songs that they hadn't heard yet, so I was THE SHIT! "that nigga from down south".......So I looked forward to going to Panama City every summer.......cause the game didn't stop....just a different location.....however, it was different living there....I had to fit in with them niggas, yet and still, remain apart.....it was cool coming for the summers, cause Mom's would leave some pocket change.....butMom's was sick....and Granny hadn't raised teenagers in years.....nor worked.....so damn......after one week of school...being the "new kid" ...y'all member how that shit went...got all the attention....I had to do sum'in.....how could I make some extra loot? The shit back then was going to McDonald's after school chillin....how could I be cool, and not hang? No spare loot....what????
Blow Pops
Damn right...Blow Pops....I started hustling blow pops....in Jr. High...blow pops was like crack! A bag cost me $1.86, at .$25 per pop, I grossed about $5 per bag....was bringin at least 5 bags per day to school, killin them fools!!!! Pockets stayed on swole....pushin blow pops.....Granny even helped me get started...she saw how independent I had become, and wasn't botherin her for any money, she financed a few bags..would get me some industrial sized bags from Sam's or some other wholesaler, when cats tried to "rank" on the game....stayed one step ahead of them niggas.....You couldn't tell me shit.......even then, I saw, chics like money.....in '85, a 13 year old with $50-75 in his pockets was the shit....and the girls knew it.........they created a monster...........ala, the birth of "Pretty Tony."
Stay Tuned............
Back to 1985.........was going to Mowat Jr High School (only old heads know bout Jr. High School...Middle School is that new shit!)......staying with Granny and 'nem.......wuddn't a lot of loot in the house, so wuddn't too many EXTRA's...nah mean.....Mom's was recovering from a major surgery, hence the reason for being in Panama City in the first place.....so shit was tight.......And coming from Sarasota, to Panama City was like going back in time....PC was always home, cause that's where Granny lived, and that's where summers were spent....but living there.....nah!!! Talk about slow....them niggas was slow.....I couldn't, and still can't, dance for shit....but to them cats....I was tight!....I was up on shit that they hadn't seen yet, and had songs that they hadn't heard yet, so I was THE SHIT! "that nigga from down south".......So I looked forward to going to Panama City every summer.......cause the game didn't stop....just a different location.....however, it was different living there....I had to fit in with them niggas, yet and still, remain apart.....it was cool coming for the summers, cause Mom's would leave some pocket change.....butMom's was sick....and Granny hadn't raised teenagers in years.....nor worked.....so damn......after one week of school...being the "new kid" ...y'all member how that shit went...got all the attention....I had to do sum'in.....how could I make some extra loot? The shit back then was going to McDonald's after school chillin....how could I be cool, and not hang? No spare loot....what????
Blow Pops
Damn right...Blow Pops....I started hustling blow pops....in Jr. High...blow pops was like crack! A bag cost me $1.86, at .$25 per pop, I grossed about $5 per bag....was bringin at least 5 bags per day to school, killin them fools!!!! Pockets stayed on swole....pushin blow pops.....Granny even helped me get started...she saw how independent I had become, and wasn't botherin her for any money, she financed a few bags..would get me some industrial sized bags from Sam's or some other wholesaler, when cats tried to "rank" on the game....stayed one step ahead of them niggas.....You couldn't tell me shit.......even then, I saw, chics like money.....in '85, a 13 year old with $50-75 in his pockets was the shit....and the girls knew it.........they created a monster...........ala, the birth of "Pretty Tony."
Stay Tuned............
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Da fuck is it about the truth?
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the the truth........"
Then dammit do it!!! Seems to me that a lot of folks don't really know what that means....so let me help you out...the Truth is the embodiment of YOU! Living, breathing, eating, sleeping, shitting, nothing but the truth! In essence, that means being True to who you are..."to thine own self be true." Many of you have heard me say that time and time again...and I stand by that; There is no compromising on the truth. Mathematically speaking, which you will hear constantly from me, means there is no room for variance...no standard deviation, no nothin', just the facts....And there is but one fact, and that's you....everything else is relative....one absolute truth...your existence! Life is based on choices, right? So, if you base all of your choices on "Truth and Righteousness" then, you can never go wrong......It has always been my notion that man can do damn near anything he wants in this world (GOD gave us dominion over it), so long as he doesn't shit on anyone in the process; You know, don't lie, cheat, or steal to get what you want....then "yours is the earth, and everything that's in it..." But for some unknown reason, this concept seems to escape folks. Som' bitches will lie even if the truth sounded better...and I can't understand that shit to save my life....I mean lying is hard...cause you gotta remember that shit!!! then, to be truthful about it, there's no righteous reason one should ever have to lie...none what so ever!!!! Cause if you're lying, you're hiding something...the truth is an open, free flowing, carefree life......a pure heart!!! bottom line. No malice, no evil, no hatred, envy, none of that shit......you sleep damn good at night....that's living the truth...you've done what you said you were going to do; you've been where you said you were going to be, you've kept your word!!! that's the truth....the word...your word.....the spoken word.....which should always be a manifestation of your inner feelings.....which should always be pure and truthful in nature...(think hard enough, you can see the cycle).....a representation of he who created us in his image, of him who knows nothing of that but the truth..... I ain't gon' touch on that....... yet...but you see where I could go with that.....but, Truth.....Word.......Your Word.....Say What You Mean, and Mean What You Say! Dammit!!!! That shit irks the fuck outta me for somebody to say they gon' do sum'in and don't do it....dammit, don't waste my time...and that's what lies are, a waste of fucking time! Lies....Deceit.....Devil.....Father of Lies.....Ain't that what the preacher says....the biggest lie the Devil ever told was, "you got time,"...ain't that what he says right before benediction, to get folks to, "come on down............won't there be one?"
The Truth folks......it ain't hard.....just clean out some of the bullshit you got goin on in ya inner self, and let it go, then you ain't got to hide nuttin'....like Luda said....."blow it out ya ass"......and live right!!! And the "Truth Shall Set you Free."
Then dammit do it!!! Seems to me that a lot of folks don't really know what that means....so let me help you out...the Truth is the embodiment of YOU! Living, breathing, eating, sleeping, shitting, nothing but the truth! In essence, that means being True to who you are..."to thine own self be true." Many of you have heard me say that time and time again...and I stand by that; There is no compromising on the truth. Mathematically speaking, which you will hear constantly from me, means there is no room for variance...no standard deviation, no nothin', just the facts....And there is but one fact, and that's you....everything else is relative....one absolute truth...your existence! Life is based on choices, right? So, if you base all of your choices on "Truth and Righteousness" then, you can never go wrong......It has always been my notion that man can do damn near anything he wants in this world (GOD gave us dominion over it), so long as he doesn't shit on anyone in the process; You know, don't lie, cheat, or steal to get what you want....then "yours is the earth, and everything that's in it..." But for some unknown reason, this concept seems to escape folks. Som' bitches will lie even if the truth sounded better...and I can't understand that shit to save my life....I mean lying is hard...cause you gotta remember that shit!!! then, to be truthful about it, there's no righteous reason one should ever have to lie...none what so ever!!!! Cause if you're lying, you're hiding something...the truth is an open, free flowing, carefree life......a pure heart!!! bottom line. No malice, no evil, no hatred, envy, none of that shit......you sleep damn good at night....that's living the truth...you've done what you said you were going to do; you've been where you said you were going to be, you've kept your word!!! that's the truth....the word...your word.....the spoken word.....which should always be a manifestation of your inner feelings.....which should always be pure and truthful in nature...(think hard enough, you can see the cycle).....a representation of he who created us in his image, of him who knows nothing of that but the truth..... I ain't gon' touch on that....... yet...but you see where I could go with that.....but, Truth.....Word.......Your Word.....Say What You Mean, and Mean What You Say! Dammit!!!! That shit irks the fuck outta me for somebody to say they gon' do sum'in and don't do it....dammit, don't waste my time...and that's what lies are, a waste of fucking time! Lies....Deceit.....Devil.....Father of Lies.....Ain't that what the preacher says....the biggest lie the Devil ever told was, "you got time,"...ain't that what he says right before benediction, to get folks to, "come on down............won't there be one?"
The Truth folks......it ain't hard.....just clean out some of the bullshit you got goin on in ya inner self, and let it go, then you ain't got to hide nuttin'....like Luda said....."blow it out ya ass"......and live right!!! And the "Truth Shall Set you Free."
Monday, June 13, 2005
Ain't this bout a bitch!!!!!
First of all, thanks to all of those who read and commented on my inaugural post...Much love to my TOS FAMILY..love y'all niglets....but anyway, as the title states, Ain't this bout a bitch, ummmm, naw, not yet, there'll be plenty of time for that, as I said in my first post, I'm just gettin started, (ain't got this back linking shit down yet); But that's what I said when I got home last night..."ain't this bout a bitch!!!!!"....First, we lost our softball game, by the mercy rule, no less......then, my damn fish died......now before y'all say wtf, and why am I trippin over a fish dying, get this...in my zone, I'm thinking, all of this has another meaning, a deeper meaning....not immediately clear at the outset, but looking into the situation, and analyzing...as I do....I think of all the variables involved....basically trying to make sense of it....cause nothing is always what it seems....we can argue til the cows come home, but it ain't so....For every action, there's an opposite, but equal reaction..mathematically speaking, everything has an inverse.....So why did my fish die, and what does it mean?? I bought the fish, from a friend of mine, sJea , about 2 months ago....First time ever having a fish, so I kinda expected him to die...soon...like within 48 hours...but he didn't....so here we are today, two months later; This weekend, he was alive...this morning he was alive, cause I was even planning on gettin him some more food this evening.......after I got the tank cleaned.......sJea plays with softball with me, and said time permitting, she would follow me home this evening after the game, and show me how to clean the tank.....cool....not knowing we would get our ass kicked, ....sorry, we did....and I pitched, so I can talk....our game ended early...from East Point to May-retta, ain't down the street...however, sJea followed me home......to do a good deed....And I just be damned, the fish dead! Dead as a doorknob....all stiff and shit, gills spread out.....nasty, if you ask me.......first thing sJea asked me, "you been feedin him alot?" ummmmm, yeah, I was gon' get him some food after I cleaned the tank, in fact.....she said "boi, what I told you?".........Initially, I had followed sJea's instructions, and fed him every few days, and all was cool.....but for some unknown reason, lately I had been feedin the thing everyday, and tellin folks all he did was eat and lie around....sJea told me those were his characteristics, so I thought it was all normal.......fully expected the fish to be alive when sJea came to clean the tank....but he wasn't, and I was quite dumbfounded to say the least......like how fuckin ironic is this.......cause I had even been askin sJea to come to clean the tank for about 2 weeks now, and when she was finally able to get out there, the damn fish dead.....to me, shit like that is cause for analyzing....and that's what I did...first I had to form a hypothesis.......ask a question....then, either prove, or disprove it....then, by default, obtain my answer.....how could I do that with this situation, I thought..... I know what my question is....why did my fish die....but as any true scientist would tell you, that's too easy...too obvious....the fish died cause you fed him too damn much and he blew the fuck up...that's why the fish died......the question you seek pertains to life.......you were expecting the fish to be alive, as he had lived 2 months prior in the same environment, you had asked sJea for weeks to show you how to clean the tank, and finally she was able....then....all is ready, and you're comfortable, and complacent.....the unexpected......you can't question the unexpected, no matter how ironic that shit is; you just wanna make sure you're prepared to deal with it.........'ol pimp credo, "If you stay ready, you ain't got to get ready"...Make the most of it; turn that shit around; ......sJea, who was "Kuntry 'fo Country was cool," got the dead fish out (I woulda eventually manned up and got him) , and proceeded to show me how to clean the tank sans fish.......Now, I'mma go get me a damn pirhana, like I've always wanted, and ride out..............y'all may not feel where I'm comin from, but it makes sense to me........fuck the lil shit, 'specially if you know how to prevent it from happening again, and keep it movin, pimpin............but I'm still like......"ain't this bout a bitch."
Just Gettin Started-Again
As the title implies, I'm just getting started again- yeah, again, cause my first post was lost in cyberspace somewhere, and I'm no genius at this, so here I am, just gettin started......yeah, I know this looks pretty plain, and dull, but as my HTML skills are enhanced, so will the look of my blog....I had this nice long ass post I was gonna bring for initial entrance into blog world, but as I stated, that shit got lost in cyberspace; Before I get into it, let me first put out all the disclaimers:
1)This shit will offend some; Just ain't no way around it. If you know me, you know I'm not one to bite my tongue- I tell the Tactful Truth! Granted, I'mma do my damndest to respect others' feelings, However, the truth will be told here..
2) I smoke! no explanation needed here. So if my posts seem as though I'm rambling and on some other shit, I probably am.
3) I cuss....if you can't deal with that, this blog ain't for you.
4) I'm a no bull-shit kinda guy.......again, no explanation needed.
That pretty much sums up all the disclaimers.......so, without further ado (sp), allow me to introduce you to, yours truly, ME!!!!! 2 Can Play That Game, Pretty Tony, T, T-Mac, whatever you know me by...this ya boi!!! With this blog, not only do I hope to give you a lil insight into my world, but with your interaction, hopefully I can get some insight into MY World, as well. I've been called everything from an ENIGMA, to Complex, to just a plain Asshole.....so hopefully, with y'all's help, I can conquer the "inna-me" and then prceed on to the enemy...get that? Also, I tend to go off on tangents, so try to stay with me, it'll all make sense in the end.....anyway, I'm 33, a divorcee, and I have 2 beautiful kids; I'm single, not even a rotation...however, if sum'in come through, better believe I ain't turnin it down....but like I said, I'm a no-shit kinda guy, so a lot of the drama that comes with dating, I don't have time for...I just keep it movin' pimpin! I'm going to tell y'all about my life, the chics that I encounter, the fools that I chill with, shit that just pisses me off, and basically life in general......so just sit back, chill, and enjoy the ride, cause this shit is about to blow up......I'm just gettin started.
1)This shit will offend some; Just ain't no way around it. If you know me, you know I'm not one to bite my tongue- I tell the Tactful Truth! Granted, I'mma do my damndest to respect others' feelings, However, the truth will be told here..
2) I smoke! no explanation needed here. So if my posts seem as though I'm rambling and on some other shit, I probably am.
3) I cuss....if you can't deal with that, this blog ain't for you.
4) I'm a no bull-shit kinda guy.......again, no explanation needed.
That pretty much sums up all the disclaimers.......so, without further ado (sp), allow me to introduce you to, yours truly, ME!!!!! 2 Can Play That Game, Pretty Tony, T, T-Mac, whatever you know me by...this ya boi!!! With this blog, not only do I hope to give you a lil insight into my world, but with your interaction, hopefully I can get some insight into MY World, as well. I've been called everything from an ENIGMA, to Complex, to just a plain Asshole.....so hopefully, with y'all's help, I can conquer the "inna-me" and then prceed on to the enemy...get that? Also, I tend to go off on tangents, so try to stay with me, it'll all make sense in the end.....anyway, I'm 33, a divorcee, and I have 2 beautiful kids; I'm single, not even a rotation...however, if sum'in come through, better believe I ain't turnin it down....but like I said, I'm a no-shit kinda guy, so a lot of the drama that comes with dating, I don't have time for...I just keep it movin' pimpin! I'm going to tell y'all about my life, the chics that I encounter, the fools that I chill with, shit that just pisses me off, and basically life in general......so just sit back, chill, and enjoy the ride, cause this shit is about to blow up......I'm just gettin started.
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